road’s scholar

curious that men are generally prone to believing they have a correct sense of direction.  at least when it comes to navigating a road and highway grid.  some claim men don’t ask directions because they don’t want to give the impression they don’t know where they are.  that i don’t ask directions perhaps has nothing to do with my gender; though there will be those who claim the very fact i don’t necessarily believe it is not gender is further evidence that it is a gender issue.  i don’t ask because i both don’t want to bother others  and because i have a general belief that i can figure the directions out.  there is a bit of concern about being embarrassed that comes into play, though i dare say embarrassment is not a gender-specific issue.  i guess it is within reason to say that i have never been lost, for i am home and have always found my way home.  once, i remember straggling in the arlan’s store in bay city michigan.  i looked up to ask my dad a question and realized the person was not my father.  i recall crying…more like whimpering…and panic was there.  i was about 5 years old.  another time, i got off the el in chicago and ran straight out the station not realizing that i had been riding backwards in the el.  i wanted to catch the lake street el west to oak park.  instead, i ran all the way to the congress street station.  i knew as i was running a while that i must be in the wrong direction.  it was foggy.  i turned around and ran back to the correct station.  another time i fell asleep on the el in chicago and ended up at the end of the line.  i didn’t have enough money to get on a new el.  the conductor offered to help but for a price…a price i found humiliating and something i could not allow myself to do.  it was a tense passage of time.  something worked though…the conductor said ‘oh forget it’ and gave me a pass home.  i thanked him.  and i didn’t feel lost.