special struggle

A bit ago I noted having the sense that I am really no more special than anyone else in the world. Neal Donald Walsh talks about this in one of his ‘conversation’ books. And I want to believe and live it. Yet it isn’t working. I am currently unable to think of myself as not better than other people. I don’t know that it has anything to do with arrogance, though rarely are arrogant people going to describe themselves as arrogant…it’s a discriptor applied by others, and that’s a ‘whole nuther judgment matter’. I know that I struggle with the concept because I get irritated with people, I say things (in my mind, mostly)…blaming things…about others. I correct people. I gossip. And I often do not give others credit for rightmindedness…instead develop paranoid patterns of thought to support what can be, I guess, termed a victim-role. If I could maintain true and conscious belief in the valuable uniqueness of everyone, I would live happier.